Usually, we hesitate at first to let go of these people and remove them from our lives, maybe because their toxicity isn’t obvious in the beginning. Many times they cover it up with other behaviours such as bad humour or an intense social life.
But as time goes by, we discover spending time near a toxic-manipulative person takes a very high toll on our own life.
In order to fully enjoy our creative activity we need to keep a safe distance from this type of individual.
When you begin the process of removing a toxic-manipulative person from your life, chances are they will realise that you are distancing yourself from them and they may react badly.
They may start insisting you meet more often. In this phase, they are still trying to maintain their “influence” over you. They start to suspect you are in the process of getting rid of them, but they will still try to maintain contact.
Once they realise that you do not comply with their manipulative behavior anymore, they understand that you are of no use to them.
When they recognise you mean business chances are they will disappear from your life without any further notice because you are no longer of use to their constant needs.
Nonetheless, that won’t stop them from inventing a “great” misunderstanding with the popular scenario of them being the victim and you the “heartless” perpetrator. They will then ensure that their social circle is informed of their ordeal and that, because of it, they have decided to keep you out of their life.
Although, this event may temporarily be energy-draining for you, let it be. It is probably the shortest and safest way to get rid of their manipulative affliction once and for all. And if those who hear the “stories” about your “heartless” behaviour believe them, they probably weren’t your true friends to begin with.
After this phase, the toxic-manipulative person will never re-contact you, at least not directly. They may send an intermediary to learn whether you have deciphered their behavior or not. This is what they will consider your last “chance” to correct your “wrong” deeds. They may ask the intermediary to demand an apology for “offenses” or express how hurt they are by your actions.
You must, of course, ignore all of this and refuse the offer to re-connect! If you humbly ask for their forgiveness, they will consider this a sign of your weakness. And from that point on they will act arrogant and bossy toward you.
If you send the intermediary back with a big NO, they will get angry and crudely criticize you, but this will also put a stop to the relationship. Most likely by this point they will have already found someone new to approach and conquer anyway.
Toxic-manipulative people will not like the fact that you took them out of your life. They will probably react badly or complain intensively. They may accuse you of an inhuman attitude in reaction to you cutting them of your own energy. Nonetheless, follow your instinct and your high conscious state. If you feel like a person in your life is toxic, show yourself the respect you deserve by demanding respect from others.
Quite often I have heard many of my clients state the same misconception: the moment they realise that one of their peers is a toxic-manipulative person, they declare their intention to “help” the person “get well” or change their behavior.
Unfortunately, this is a vain attempt. Toxic people fester very deep psychological wounds and mental or cognitive distortions. For a person who is not a mental health specialist, trying to help a toxic person is a fruitless venture. It could even prove quite hazardous for the Good Samaritan.
A toxic person is convinced that there is nothing wrong with them. An attempt to “reform” them will leave the person who is trying to help exhausted, void of energy, and abused by the toxic person.
The best thing to do is merely maintain as little contact as possible with the toxic person.
This will create a free and safe space to allow positive and creative people to interact with us and lead a mentally healthy, happy and creative life.
Those who have kept a safe distance from toxic people observe their creative energy regain momentum. Once free from the toxic influence they start experiencing an unobstructed flow of positive emotions while creating. This becomes the best possible proof that ridding their life of toxic individuals was a very wise move.
If you are keen to protect yourself from toxic-manipulative persons and adopt this new behavior, you can contact me via email:
firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone: +30 6983 282 252 & +30 210 4675543 or by Skype.
My sessions take place at my offices in Athens and Salamina Island or via Skype and Hangouts.
After a longstanding career in research at the National Centre of Scientific Research of France (CNRS) and the prestigious Collège de France of Paris, I have spent more than a decade focusing my activity in the successful treatment of phobias, panic and stress disorders, as well as the personal development and reinforcement of personal strengths, soft skills and emotional intelligence. I am a trained and expert therapist of these conditions.
My therapeutic approach is based upon the application of scientific and psychotherapeutic proven techniques for a comprehensive and successful approach to dealing with the aforementioned issues.
I am a certified Cognitive Psychologist and a Member of the official Association of Greek Psychologists (SEPS). I am also a Certified Member of the European Federation of Psychological Associations (EFPA), and hold a European Certification of Psychological Practice (EuroPsy) in more than 19 countries of the European continent. I am also a member of the International Society of Emotional Intelligence and Member of the International Network of Teachers of CEB (Cultivating Emotional Balance).
I provide Individual Consulting and Therapy for Personal Development and Self Awareness, EQ education (including for the professional field), Life Coaching for successful living and career, Meditative Techniques for Mindfulness, Concentration, Relaxation and Equanimity, as well as group seminars on the topics of Personal Development, CEB, Life Coaching for Successful Living and Goal Setting.
I would be happy to hear your story.
Last modified: November 18, 2018